So most of my posts these days are negative, would you believe me if I said that most of my life is negative?

I don't think it is but right now all I can see and focus on is the negative aspects of my life, what is missing, I really wish this wasn't the case and I am trying to get this fixed but for now I feel like shutting myself up inside and not venturing out at all.

It has been an extremely tough year, things have transpired that I wish with all my heart I could change, I wish I was able to go back in time and fix before they ever spiraled out of control. Fortuanatly the person who took the worst portion of it all seems to be doing better than I and I am very glad she is ok, I on the other hand have suffered and continue to suffer through feelings of guilt and anguish, this has bled through into other portions of my life and have effected me in ways I could not forsee.

Maybe its the punishment I deserve...